I have never been someone who dressed up well – meaning putting on good clothes, getting a great haircut and stuff. I preferred cut jeans, t-shirts, and short sleeves, often looking a little scruffy. Growing up, my parents tried their best to groom me, and I only wore decent clothes during school days or church, usually outfits bought by my mum, uncles, and aunties. But most of the time, I went back to my usual dressing style—cut jeans, bata thongs, or even barefoot.
I always carried a wasa bag or a string bilum made from woven tulip tree bark, usually given to me by my grandmother or aunties. I preferred traditional bilums over modern ones. I also disliked carrying backpacks, except when traveling long distances or going to work.
Even from a young age, my carefree approach to dressing often got me into trouble. One of my most memorable experiences in high school was the day I wore my t-shirt inside out. I hadn’t realized it, but during the morning assembly, the headmistress called me out—along with a few other boys—to stand in front of the entire school. It was embarrassing, but at the time, I didn’t think much of it. I had never been too concerned about how I dressed, and moments like these just seemed normal to me.
Even through college, my dressing style remained unchanged. The only time I ever wore a necktie was during my Grade 8 graduation. When I moved to Morobe Province for studies and attended our church, I noticed that all the brothers and elders dressed formally with neckties. I was the odd one out. I tried to adjust, but I didn’t find it appealing. A few elders encouraged me to “shape up,” but I remained unchanged.
Dr. David Kolkoma (PhD), a pastor in our church, and some other elders took the time to show me how to tie a necktie. I eventually learned and wore one on Sundays for church, but back at college, I returned to my usual dressing style.
A Turning Point
One key figure who influenced my dressing and grooming was Ms. Francisca Pambel. She became a mother figure to me, especially since my parents were far away. I was the prodigy student academically in her class, and she constantly encouraged me to buy good clothes and dress like a gentleman.
I met her in my second year of college, still in my old-fashioned dressing style. She would encourage me visit fashion shops at Eriku, Top Down or Market to look out for clothes that would best suit me. She would recommend to me to check out certain clothes she saw in the shop. By my final year, after completing my industrial training, I began to slowly improve my dressing.
It took a long time to adjust, partly because of my reserved and selective nature.
Work Life and Continued Struggles
Even after finishing college and starting work, I still found it difficult to maintain a polished appearance. I believed that dressing simply was a sign of humility—avoiding good clothes to prevent attracting attention or too many eyes. This was my mindset throughout college and into my early working years.
But Ms. Pambel continued to check up on me. She would visit me at the airport when she’s in town or when she’s traveling and remind me always to dress better.
In my first year of work, my performance was assessed, and I was marked down on grooming. During my performance review, my superior told me:
“Des, I see you need to improve a lot in your grooming”.
Slowly, I made slight improvements.
After a year in my first role, I moved to a different business unit within the same organization under a new boss, Mr. Saluki Ruvimou. He, too, encouraged me to dress well and groom myself like a young, smart gentleman. For over a year, he kept reminding me, with support from Ms. Pambel and Dr. Kolkoma.
A Realization and Transformation
Through all these experiences, I finally realized that dressing well is not just about looking good—it influences how people perceive you and, more importantly, how you carry yourself.
Dressing well is not about showing off. Instead, it reflects self-respect and professionalism. It creates a strong first impression and shapes a powerful image of who you are and who you can become.
Today, I make a conscious effort to groom myself well every day, wear good clothes, and present myself better. I have become more selective with what I wear, carefully choosing clothes and fashion out when shopping. I have invested in suits for work, important meetings, and events, understanding the impact a well-dressed appearance can have.
Because of my personal experience, I now encourage the young men in my church to step up in their dressing. I even help some of them with clothes, ensuring that they, too, stand out.
Dressing well makes you stand out from the rest. And now, I embrace it fully.
2 Responses
Well said
Thank you, Sr Elizabeth.